The Talking Box

dinner is done, dishes are done, baby is asleep, and now it's time for a little German t.v.

here are the options:

1. French movie in French with German subtitles--seems to be something about teen angst and includes a great deal of sex and nudity (no blurred images here!)

2. Independence Day dubbed in German--Will Smith with a higher, squeaky voice

3. Popstars--German version of American Idol where the judges have clearly been type-casted to conform to the American model and the talent is much worse, which is great for us because even the 'good' ones are funny

4. Home renovation reality show--German version of TLC's Trading Spaces; and it's just like Trading Spaces, but without the jokes

5. German version of the Lawence Welk Show--full of Lederhosen and local music; apparently the format still works

6. German news--just like American news but doubly incomprehensible

7. OMG! The Princess Diaries in English--wait, nevermind, the song is over and we're back to dubbing in German

8. CNN in English--but not the real CNN, some lame international version with Christiane Amanpour on all the time

9. Eurosport featuring Snooker--great, another sport; but at least I don't have to endure the World Series this year

10. MTV--the one channel we can compromise on; in English, but with German subtitles; unfortunately they're all the reject reality shows that didn't make the real MTV--if you thought it couldn't get any trashier, it does